7 G0 }: Q' h& a5 v6 HMany people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白)+ ]3 _7 C1 m6 W1 w" P
) u/ R" t& i+ O# u" wThree hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university,s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter,会更简单易懂。): W) w2 _6 W/ _' O
; F7 a2 M5 t1 V8 bThis news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated,不更简单?) (动词时态是:spread, spread, spread)2 Q: @. p9 Y5 {) I$ z% F5 `% H) I ^
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The president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive,不更明白吗?) ; R P, @4 h6 S/ k q, w! ^% x, n0 g. a* e" E& k9 E2 JI have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate,也许更明白。) ! I. Y1 \; R w( ~( f, | * n/ w! A k3 }2 S9 ~- F8 RMr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor,会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor) 3 D3 Q( d( Z4 G7 U2 g( }! ?, G+ r 9 L; x9 ?0 ]& v7 Y8 z( J' YWe hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)(如果用see代替visualize,也许更简单!)- ~4 y$ r- p% [7 F) i$ c; G$ k
8 J% R% v7 i. u' m0 F" e- `8 {We don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后,我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire,也许更明白。)' R) r) w) s. K5 ]. y- a. w
q# f! [3 {# x9 w1 R k- wPlease act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事,请尽速办理。)(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白?)- |8 v7 u, [1 d- U
% s9 D; c* G/ J& O9 p0 E这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过:「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字,我绝不用『metropolis』这个字,因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人,在一篇讲词里用了这么一句:「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字,卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成:「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白!1 [; I" f' ^ B/ f
5 f8 q9 W; D( F n$ q * S& j) H6 E3 X9 L, l) K5 f2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼(flowery or wordy),句子应该越短越好,一句能用两个字,绝不多加一个。 ; o7 W. N& J8 X# O4 I + I. X- ^$ P1 d例如: 8 [/ g' K: ^9 D5 W/ t; j + k/ {4 ]/ N0 @% _At this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致)(如果说:Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now) $ P' c, [, C0 R4 j; w0 t / D! p/ g9 s7 k3 k0 iDespite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. (虽然我的英语不好,但我不灰心。) (如果说:Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though) & }# m! G0 ?$ u" X; V1 l4 R9 g" X3 ^ N b e" g9 \" _4 n
I am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说:I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗?因为I am of the opinion = I think)5 G* J- u5 a) B* L( |+ J# L
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He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说:He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because)3 u9 ]8 o z1 V# H: A' V$ ]
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In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.(他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说:Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually)7 M: j C4 ?/ w8 Z% g
0 B* A' q _. p' y% uShe shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说:She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚,因为 show a preference for = prefer) ! z" ^% l& `- z& o& O$ h5 R% F1 H. x( c' I1 F# T5 Z* j
I will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生) 9 w/ z& x1 _* A 9 M. U# p& I1 R& x, `# v如果只说:I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗?因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面:「about the matter」可以省去); 同理,也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如:: | `( g* K0 z* a% [
" x) M5 j! _3 `$ RThe consensus(of opinion)is that we have to act right away.(大家认为我们必须立即行动)(of opinion 可以省去,因为 consensus 的意思,就是大家的意见。)" ? _ g0 C1 E; p2 {5 C; ~
! a/ g* _$ W+ K+ G3 M- eThe letter shows that the problem(continues to)remain unsolved.(他的信显示问题尚未解决)(continue to 是多余的字,因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为:The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.)% g+ B2 Q$ u' C3 s# n' J3 T
4 ~8 i: G, n; }) E" ~He has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.(他在演说里做出结论) (final 是多余的字,因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。) ' e" e! D/ u8 U. g2 x. u . |1 j7 a4 d( Y9 ]# @) G* ]: kHe has had many years of (actual) experience in business。(他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字,因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味) 2 k" ]/ H: h q) B( C& I+ A, N0 h$ {5 v# i: e, }, c. p6 ?9 C
We assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.(我们装好收音机的零件)(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思,所以 together 是多余的) # H- l0 E! |. C: U9 B * X4 n$ h+ M$ i& y* J. lEnclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.(herewith 是多余的字,因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思)(即:附上会议报告,请查收) T0 o& m8 x/ J9 ~6 t. a: D6 r' B- G7 w0 N+ l
写到这里,想起一位深受美国人民爱戴,一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young,他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时,他的回信只有三个字「我会到」(I'll be there)......。也有人打趣的说:「讲演或写作的句子,就像穿迷你裙,愈短愈好。」(Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.) 9 s* x0 E& e' ]5 g0 t2 b$ D7 a. t3 c% d: E
此外还有:in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。. N' Q) W3 W% ]( ~* P& l
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9 C! o# w) t |3 e* J+ ~/ h3 | 3.老外为了族群和谐相处,除不用歧视或偏见的字眼外,连男女性别,也要避免区别,以示「平等」。 - G8 ?8 v( V/ a! F: I0 g# O" w0 U- ^, s: c2 k
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Mankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。(人类是世上最聪明的动物)= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为:Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings) (注意:mankind 后面动词要用多数,而 man 的后面动词,则用单数) " `$ C+ E: P: Q! D* ~3 Z% b7 y/ I% Q( ^7 S1 W2 i/ B
Manpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济,似乎缺乏人力资源。)(如果说:Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources)1 j8 J* P$ C' a- f- Q3 i' r3 W9 r1 V" f
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This small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.(这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工)(如果说:This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了) 3 f. Y+ Q5 r, D $ }6 e! [1 u; m1 g b* ^. aHe (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair,就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人,也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。)$ F3 W, Q/ A# ^7 a! p/ H
1 K/ l* `4 S5 Z' JMany businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.(许多商人觉得工作压力很大)(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了)(凡是单数 man 或 woman,其多数都是 men 或 women。) : `: Z5 G/ H( ` l2 Q1 s& H6 e' c$ z' A0 S. t
Policemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.(警察对人民应该有礼貌)(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别) & B9 i# `4 |% d, W2 D4 ?; A4 w. u7 x2 ?6 l9 z- C
Congressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. (国会议员应该为其选民说话)(constitute = voter) (我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives) 6 \; D1 R1 a) v' E% M, ?% X% C$ P/ ?+ T) g+ O C
Stewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.(国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象)(如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant,就能包括男女空中服务员。) / f$ s% I* b7 Q& Z 3 l2 F% @* E6 g0 i同理,我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson;把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker;把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。' [2 r: O+ ?# J* y& y1 k; A$ K