* E6 y$ p0 D, g6 x. `例如:% B7 ]) T; ~7 w5 ]+ }$ u/ P; B' Y
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Many people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白) & q: J6 }. ?8 l a1 } + r5 ?7 R9 g, X% K& O h8 T, eThree hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university,s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter,会更简单易懂。) I- P& S, W4 H" w& z % P$ ^6 t# G5 HThis news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated,不更简单?) (动词时态是:spread, spread, spread)6 V+ x: a* V |4 H: ?( R% t# ?. l
( Z# E/ m& C: O. Y. _- qThe president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive,不更明白吗?) 4 f, J& T7 r0 M0 N, l) m( ? 9 b$ [# [9 t) k5 LI have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate,也许更明白。)5 A& S% C* a; w/ u' Z( a
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Mr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor,会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor)6 ^6 a+ F3 c& J
! s6 p1 F5 `( n: I0 O* c9 _We hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)(如果用see代替visualize,也许更简单!)* O7 V6 R* H, ^
3 v3 g5 `7 S1 t& R0 LThe charitable organization solicits for our annual donation. (慈善机构要求我们一年一度乐捐)(假如用 ask 代替 solicit,更浅白易懂。)(solicitation是名词)' g0 a: _& O' d% ]* d
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We don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后,我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire,也许更明白。) : L9 s! H0 ^) a& ]' e6 [% d ! e( T# _: M$ f# y$ R2 mPlease act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事,请尽速办理。)(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白?)* Q0 k4 x7 H. E8 \8 D: A E
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这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过:「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字,我绝不用『metropolis』这个字,因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人,在一篇讲词里用了这么一句:「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字,卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成:「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白! , t8 G7 F- b' I. D , M3 ]$ K s E8 Y z0 P " l' H3 O; C/ G$ g& N$ U) R5 A% ^2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼(flowery or wordy),句子应该越短越好,一句能用两个字,绝不多加一个。 f8 R% A8 @4 R" O2 \" K% H- b S# Y4 i6 n0 y; y
例如: 3 X8 x# ~ K% Q1 W$ h: h! E $ P" F! K( q- ?; q; S FAt this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致)(如果说:Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now) " I8 r( d+ W* c* X5 B 9 u/ D; b& E/ P3 }Despite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. (虽然我的英语不好,但我不灰心。) (如果说:Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though)! U. W/ f. B" P, G
2 f0 h/ n1 r( V5 M% KI am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说:I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗?因为I am of the opinion = I think) ' E) k7 I+ r( z4 o6 O' `1 Z" C$ H% s! p4 {+ w+ w* ^. }
He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说:He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because)9 d* B- m0 C, s4 I$ ~3 v5 h
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In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.(他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说:Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually) 5 n3 y, _" ~# I: L0 i' c6 ]7 T) `; O5 i2 F+ G; W* Y
She shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说:She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚,因为 show a preference for = prefer) : Q6 V& x$ }1 G6 W9 D8 k# r1 U: g6 ?: i' `+ ^9 S$ v
I will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生) : `% y) `( ?; G3 ^4 F + }; N' c6 _9 `" n7 E, { W3 q如果只说:I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗?因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面:「about the matter」可以省去); 同理,也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如:: n8 ^4 O* T7 i P; W: @' c6 p/ K
7 \* b/ R3 z8 r2 KThe consensus(of opinion)is that we have to act right away.(大家认为我们必须立即行动)(of opinion 可以省去,因为 consensus 的意思,就是大家的意见。) 8 b' T7 ~! f* |8 [2 B7 h- V7 t( T1 c3 ]9 `* _9 W. ?
The letter shows that the problem(continues to)remain unsolved.(他的信显示问题尚未解决)(continue to 是多余的字,因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为:The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.) & o, H! O2 D# u* `, e* F ) c- A/ I- ?5 W- E; \! _: [, ~He has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.(他在演说里做出结论) (final 是多余的字,因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。) + G# K; p0 g# M8 J4 P( S! }' F# P7 B" e
He has had many years of (actual) experience in business。(他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字,因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味)" A8 y) v! k3 N0 E
% O# O. x; p: u0 U6 oWe assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.(我们装好收音机的零件)(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思,所以 together 是多余的)7 E1 T9 ^) N/ c m- n! |% f- y* ?
: h- F+ G; @, \5 i$ A" d# yEnclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.(herewith 是多余的字,因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思)(即:附上会议报告,请查收) ) g7 p# o8 z4 K: E " v2 e6 H& v' j% O- d0 {- i写到这里,想起一位深受美国人民爱戴,一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young,他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时,他的回信只有三个字「我会到」(I'll be there)......。也有人打趣的说:「讲演或写作的句子,就像穿迷你裙,愈短愈好。」(Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.) , T' {; B, [- j- ]2 j! }+ L1 t( y$ E1 y& E* Y- w( Z* O. j
此外还有:in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。 * D& Z2 ?5 D; e3 n' ~, j. v8 f& ], _& }0 C& t
0 X+ _1 @1 D. t0 d; _3.老外为了族群和谐相处,除不用歧视或偏见的字眼外,连男女性别,也要避免区别,以示「平等」。0 ^* {' i( p( u
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例如: 0 [; G, y i0 F. `/ L" m8 J * a6 E# V; O. \' [7 vMankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。(人类是世上最聪明的动物)= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为:Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings) (注意:mankind 后面动词要用多数,而 man 的后面动词,则用单数) , u7 D5 s* R" E , T8 L% K- ?8 x0 w- d7 }3 S. iManpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济,似乎缺乏人力资源。)(如果说:Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources) : y" N- g. ^* X! y7 o- s7 G; _& q 6 r; Q+ d6 U, l+ L8 o- G" `This small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.(这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工)(如果说:This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了)7 t% I/ n/ Q- B( A
/ n9 k, G* U4 t% }4 @" BHe (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair,就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人,也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。)) X0 ~& q% W6 ~; h9 H) g) [6 A6 h
3 D# L% t( \8 {: d+ W# s cMany businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.(许多商人觉得工作压力很大)(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了)(凡是单数 man 或 woman,其多数都是 men 或 women。)6 D: y) g# E, Q1 e) T6 ~' n
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Policemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.(警察对人民应该有礼貌)(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别) 6 m- w7 R* B4 c& a) R 9 `' I* L7 e" e8 h, m8 |9 HCongressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. (国会议员应该为其选民说话)(constitute = voter) (我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives) 6 I0 n0 D, z3 w% u9 l + h% |* C$ I, kStewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.(国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象)(如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant,就能包括男女空中服务员。)* p. `* V+ D, s% l
o6 X+ A, |# Z& u6 W, ]同理,我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson;把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker;把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。: h4 L. }7 T: q$ `3 y
& j1 P: l9 i* w2 i, t当然,一些带有种族偏见的字眼,甚至有侮辱的味道(insulting words 或 slur),也要尽量避免使用,以免闹出麻烦。例如: # t4 c) c0 C8 { 7 S% k x- i( J" B0 ~' `对黑人不要用 Negro,更不能用 Nigger(用 Black 还可以),礼貌的说法是 Afro-American 或 African-American;9 {- v `8 ]5 ^$ j5 u