9 A+ t3 l4 j2 A: E- H" |Many people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白)' `+ G: I; ^" {( o
5 ^; E8 e& W" |) b/ C. EThree hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university，s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter，会更简单易懂。) : J7 [$ X6 Y/ m0 Z% `; s {4 r. y' p5 I& `. X2 a3 m* n; l- D
This news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated，不更简单？) (动词时态是：spread, spread, spread)/ @6 ?3 M5 c/ s$ x% ~& @
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The president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive，不更明白吗？): \) l3 n$ d7 x( b
1 C$ }9 h: H/ a# Q9 m- t5 SI have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate，也许更明白。) _$ O, X6 a: P0 p: k
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Mr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor，会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor)' [5 ]6 o9 d+ W, h+ O) y
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We hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)（如果用see代替visualize，也许更简单！）/ h0 k* `; B+ g
8 I, f {8 ~3 _$ MThe charitable organization solicits for our annual donation. (慈善机构要求我们一年一度乐捐)（假如用 ask 代替 solicit，更浅白易懂。）(solicitation是名词) , @; P8 M" Y2 U" L! S& q6 a1 ^$ c
We don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后，我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire，也许更明白。) 2 r+ Y( s# U- o- g7 E" G: u* _4 k% m. @
Please act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事，请尽速办理。）(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白？） $ U* F9 j& x* i; S4 U / u6 c& M7 U- n3 h1 k这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过：「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字，我绝不用『metropolis』这个字，因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人，在一篇讲词里用了这么一句：「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字，卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成：「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白！0 q3 A4 X+ q5 g9 c5 m; E: }
' G0 j. ?0 `& G0 P d/ H( i1 B# \6 k* X, P8 e! T 2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼（flowery or wordy），句子应该越短越好，一句能用两个字，绝不多加一个。 + ^1 m6 \; l. Q/ x( _7 ` {5 V1 P8 c/ b" Y& B例如： ) @! P+ k2 D% U1 }; } # h# }- z7 W) LAt this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致）(如果说：Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now). U+ G P' m- W" U u
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Despite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. （虽然我的英语不好，但我不灰心。) (如果说：Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though）& k" Z3 a1 H% m6 s; A
* L$ Y- e" _" \, H% }( DI am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说：I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗？因为I am of the opinion = I think) d+ N+ `9 G0 P. B- l) u# X% ~
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He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说：He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because）% B6 C. M3 C8 t: h
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In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.（他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说：Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually） a+ D" f" `% t7 D5 d & Z/ H" t1 S$ M- e9 h/ lShe shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说：She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚，因为 show a preference for = prefer) " z! v" [5 P, z& f7 H9 W/ i% i/ [5 r' }+ k$ e5 A
I will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生)! |# T2 y4 }0 t- L, W7 Z3 L4 w
( a1 N/ j) ^* G7 b9 b9 _$ ]* _* X如果只说：I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗？因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面：「about the matter」可以省去); 同理，也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如：$ o$ I1 H; U% y0 V" q. H( Z
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The consensus（of opinion）is that we have to act right away.（大家认为我们必须立即行动）(of opinion 可以省去，因为 consensus 的意思，就是大家的意见。） ! F; Z+ x* x7 t7 u9 o( |: j ( h* B6 L0 P. G+ ?! j7 M2 `The letter shows that the problem（continues to）remain unsolved.（他的信显示问题尚未解决）(continue to 是多余的字，因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为：The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.）5 i" I8 t- ^' P ]
/ ^. o% `- m2 `: f; H0 |3 i$ VHe has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.（他在演说里做出结论） (final 是多余的字，因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。） ! E. U7 q: v/ i3 G& A7 [$ j2 _: {3 T6 Y7 |. h8 G$ O1 A- i
He has had many years of (actual) experience in business。（他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字，因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味） 4 z( e; s1 X/ e3 }, q$ u8 G% R# b2 i - `$ O$ w" C$ Q* M/ {We assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.（我们装好收音机的零件）(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思，所以 together 是多余的） # @. d1 p+ ?* D! |2 ^: \ & J" }+ y r2 ?4 b" T2 T a; bEnclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.（herewith 是多余的字，因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思）(即：附上会议报告，请查收)5 [* x* z8 A+ G4 @3 _
1 J8 h# h2 z4 w/ d! m# x' n1 M写到这里，想起一位深受美国人民爱戴，一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young，他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时，他的回信只有三个字「我会到」（I'll be there）......。也有人打趣的说：「讲演或写作的句子，就像穿迷你裙，愈短愈好。」（Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.） 5 O; G, P$ Q) J- b" U; y1 d) D2 @* S6 D/ h
此外还有：in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。 O7 u4 u7 ~& b* [4 p; W: ^
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7 ?- ?, V6 M$ h" p/ ?& e例如：4 l/ K9 T4 h2 c& T0 r
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Mankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。（人类是世上最聪明的动物）= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为：Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings） (注意：mankind 后面动词要用多数，而 man 的后面动词，则用单数） " ?4 K# @6 g" m * ^4 `& x9 q; ?* n* MManpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济，似乎缺乏人力资源。）(如果说：Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources）4 N! @0 ?3 Y. @7 s4 \8 o
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This small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.（这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工）(如果说：This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了） * g- Y+ b6 Z- L0 @+ T3 a4 t* Q4 D8 H, S# G" |, z
He (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair，就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人，也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。)# K/ U% h9 Q5 @6 p- t! l
, O0 Y6 Y: H- gMany businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.（许多商人觉得工作压力很大）(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了）(凡是单数 man 或 woman，其多数都是 men 或 women。) , p! p2 A# D3 w1 H* N) Z6 Y& p % v6 R3 |. ?; E5 f3 EPolicemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.（警察对人民应该有礼貌）(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别）8 F9 Q: I, z8 }+ x% }' K
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Congressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. （国会议员应该为其选民说话）(constitute = voter) （我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives）+ E, c: x, O- t' }' z
b% W6 X6 K4 [8 D8 r! F* iStewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.（国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象）（如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant，就能包括男女空中服务员。） ) K: ^" a. c7 v$ N; G9 @2 R T8 t+ W6 e
同理，我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson；把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker；把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。 4 B2 h- ]) F T2 n& {8 }5 l$ n$ O6 b U l2 `* z- M
当然，一些带有种族偏见的字眼，甚至有侮辱的味道（insulting words 或 slur），也要尽量避免使用，以免闹出麻烦。例如： 1 e" f. d& s; g6 ^ d / I! y8 A% U* M' \! R* F H对黑人不要用 Negro，更不能用 Nigger（用 Black 还可以），礼貌的说法是 Afro-American 或 African-American；7 ]6 _& Y a6 e3 v$ f
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对白人不要用 Honky（这是黑人骂白人的用字），正确用法是 Caucasian，或 white people；: K( c a0 L- M
& |4 c x+ q* r+ V对犹太人不要用 Hymies，应该叫 Jewish 或 Jewish people；% E( p- p/ O _- y8 x' u8 D6 w
发表于 2014-1-8 22:50:21
