- D% q5 h/ T6 w3 X3 H$ e( z例如:; c. g; Y2 {, W* g/ Y+ K0 T% y/ L
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Many people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白)& G4 ]/ l) ?" M" w' @
! _1 N4 M/ h* P2 U3 dThree hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university,s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter,会更简单易懂。)* Z C @$ Q) S: e/ F* I( S% k
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This news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated,不更简单?) (动词时态是:spread, spread, spread) ' P: m& \1 p7 k, G ; W4 O" w9 b# C$ G6 eThe president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive,不更明白吗?) : u6 X9 s: Q: j% `2 [ % u8 ~+ P6 U7 ~/ R% O" x" a ]6 c) EI have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate,也许更明白。) ) m# K2 |+ D; }" w7 ^6 F* Q2 m+ Q1 R) l+ j
Mr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor,会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor) # K& x9 W0 N) z- b4 o 1 i3 F% ]( f: B" Z/ d* [6 KWe hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)(如果用see代替visualize,也许更简单!) 1 ^7 `; e- r4 s8 ^' J$ {6 X $ {; p% a" i9 z1 r9 G4 o" q' \The charitable organization solicits for our annual donation. (慈善机构要求我们一年一度乐捐)(假如用 ask 代替 solicit,更浅白易懂。)(solicitation是名词); C x& M5 H( r9 b& C# q
# k" O0 A0 h( U3 R P1 v, UWe don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后,我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire,也许更明白。) ' o0 V3 w; M# w' N* e7 b + B# Y( k. A5 D8 PPlease act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事,请尽速办理。)(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白?)* S: t! ]9 r. E
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这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过:「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字,我绝不用『metropolis』这个字,因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人,在一篇讲词里用了这么一句:「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字,卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成:「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白! ; D" T l! }2 G" Q/ y$ Z2 n1 j0 h7 D) d$ v6 Q
# k5 `2 }8 Q/ d6 D/ K 2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼(flowery or wordy),句子应该越短越好,一句能用两个字,绝不多加一个。7 I& ?( l: `( F- u; q
8 f4 p* f' C0 f9 b$ R例如: 3 J% }9 b# W% H" Z1 c4 ^% ]2 ~9 @4 K- i
At this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致)(如果说:Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now)+ b' O" c% i0 |. J
* ` \0 o9 `7 C. h9 IDespite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. (虽然我的英语不好,但我不灰心。) (如果说:Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though)/ k( r! K3 l" h5 j; v
# ^2 M0 v" r& e' n; zI am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说:I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗?因为I am of the opinion = I think) r& `; Q$ G6 K& r& W5 h( t3 N+ e( k# R: {7 j, m
He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说:He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because)2 e5 i. L3 R$ C4 S; S0 k( W
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In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.(他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说:Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually) : p+ ^$ t: T5 T* M) E, Q" P* S+ _/ L7 M. u- T8 g7 L( Z
She shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说:She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚,因为 show a preference for = prefer) ! ~2 g2 }% K. t7 Q4 ]- F6 {, c# S7 K7 ^0 |0 L
I will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生) : o$ f# N! P( V) x2 x 4 w0 a0 p$ r" L1 p9 i+ a如果只说:I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗?因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面:「about the matter」可以省去); 同理,也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如: * N1 [" y* i) M# J" D" H, K$ M3 [' e) ?4 g: O8 R s5 y+ P8 E2 K
The consensus(of opinion)is that we have to act right away.(大家认为我们必须立即行动)(of opinion 可以省去,因为 consensus 的意思,就是大家的意见。)" n" w9 q7 \0 T
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The letter shows that the problem(continues to)remain unsolved.(他的信显示问题尚未解决)(continue to 是多余的字,因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为:The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.) ! c0 X2 K7 W8 c* E) T Q/ E( O! V3 p$ F- B5 w
He has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.(他在演说里做出结论) (final 是多余的字,因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。) . H( N. A. x7 ~1 O: \5 o# m# }7 F* ~ $ E7 |9 W+ ~+ f$ I6 L' b9 g/ XHe has had many years of (actual) experience in business。(他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字,因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味) + s( A2 I `& o1 m 0 z5 |$ X( s H( Z7 G( gWe assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.(我们装好收音机的零件)(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思,所以 together 是多余的) , }& [; l" S# G L* f+ i ' v7 i" o- o/ S2 ]9 `3 M1 `Enclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.(herewith 是多余的字,因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思)(即:附上会议报告,请查收) 7 C, |' p+ r W3 Q* o0 m5 [* n' n6 ?% L9 Z( U( o" P1 y f
写到这里,想起一位深受美国人民爱戴,一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young,他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时,他的回信只有三个字「我会到」(I'll be there)......。也有人打趣的说:「讲演或写作的句子,就像穿迷你裙,愈短愈好。」(Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.)7 ^" @- A* K+ i$ k
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此外还有:in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。 2 q k- ? ?' \% Y# c" s4 y6 k! P9 H1 d; Y1 D) H' t
+ J) [* b1 H6 \1 Q: {3.老外为了族群和谐相处,除不用歧视或偏见的字眼外,连男女性别,也要避免区别,以示「平等」。 ) n) V; Z5 J( ?/ ^3 X: s. P# n3 A/ @9 k( V7 r4 b1 r
例如:0 G4 f$ D6 y! k+ B1 B7 x
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Mankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。(人类是世上最聪明的动物)= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为:Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings) (注意:mankind 后面动词要用多数,而 man 的后面动词,则用单数) % E/ I- ?/ M3 r3 l* o @9 X; y% P5 B" _6 y% w3 O2 } m! z
Manpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济,似乎缺乏人力资源。)(如果说:Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources)! O7 f. U- o, L& @
& Y: O. a( r8 l' @This small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.(这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工)(如果说:This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了)% }$ w5 L; j) X8 u, Z4 E# a& B0 r9 u* w
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He (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair,就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人,也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。) + t2 e3 g7 x$ s _ 6 a9 N% @6 n1 w- tMany businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.(许多商人觉得工作压力很大)(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了)(凡是单数 man 或 woman,其多数都是 men 或 women。) ' _; S/ [5 c$ ~* r# y / [" N2 x0 P. @( G2 hPolicemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.(警察对人民应该有礼貌)(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别)9 M8 ]) Z1 y- ^7 `4 `) @2 d( R) p" R
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Congressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. (国会议员应该为其选民说话)(constitute = voter) (我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives), S: ?: N. y. ]5 _2 j/ S8 e
. w$ P, U4 V/ [3 sStewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.(国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象)(如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant,就能包括男女空中服务员。) ( T+ W# m) Y! h) G; n * V* H" ^/ u+ ?6 V( ^同理,我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson;把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker;把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。 , z# X4 }+ x, [8 N 1 N' a1 N" n' q1 u( n3 p当然,一些带有种族偏见的字眼,甚至有侮辱的味道(insulting words 或 slur),也要尽量避免使用,以免闹出麻烦。例如: L- D+ z m# Q3 o/ c