# z7 z/ k1 {7 R& `7 ?1 p9 R5 TMany people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白) ! m+ z; C7 Y9 C/ @ a; V+ t; ?& V+ T( E2 t& }
Three hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university,s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter,会更简单易懂。)- i" M4 K8 o$ c) ]" z
2 A1 w N7 _, F- Y; @5 ?This news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated,不更简单?) (动词时态是:spread, spread, spread) 6 n; k' c/ f% ]" v1 ]8 [7 [ & A9 N, U) G5 n; RThe president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive,不更明白吗?)/ G X% Z/ S v6 n
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I have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate,也许更明白。) 8 V [4 }. @9 A; b- M ; N' ]2 `, E5 ?& |. r1 K" fMr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor,会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor) 8 u, V; j8 Z. f9 j( F. O ' l3 Q0 Y6 \! X7 `We hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)(如果用see代替visualize,也许更简单!) " r8 }: ^8 x3 L0 b! \: Q. g4 B6 i' \4 |% U4 C; e
The charitable organization solicits for our annual donation. (慈善机构要求我们一年一度乐捐)(假如用 ask 代替 solicit,更浅白易懂。)(solicitation是名词) " [! U ?& u2 s; x2 `9 p6 ` * |8 b! q! R* k8 V) B) v' ?We don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后,我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire,也许更明白。) 0 Z+ C+ m4 p9 `! U' P2 Q) Q6 Q- I2 P# _7 u- @/ g1 g( q/ J* z4 }
Please act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事,请尽速办理。)(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白?) ! @/ N2 u* d- w0 [& K . ~7 E6 B, v0 k5 }这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过:「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字,我绝不用『metropolis』这个字,因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人,在一篇讲词里用了这么一句:「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字,卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成:「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白!2 ?* a5 }$ w4 n9 f. R
6 T# S# H4 q1 s$ r9 R8 q7 f8 n6 b$ G1 [) e/ O5 { Y 2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼(flowery or wordy),句子应该越短越好,一句能用两个字,绝不多加一个。5 E- |$ @4 s a4 }! Q! F! E
$ K m- C+ J0 E9 s" u X" C* h' E7 F例如: . C/ U& Q) R! A9 l 0 [' N( C9 _0 V3 OAt this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致)(如果说:Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now) ! {0 m5 L$ V) B! y6 ~% m1 l% X% Q8 u+ }
Despite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. (虽然我的英语不好,但我不灰心。) (如果说:Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though) + o" N" B b* r' \ 5 ^7 \! f! q9 bI am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说:I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗?因为I am of the opinion = I think)( ~ ~& c! J; C, R! y% {$ C7 S
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He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说:He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because) 2 P( \: P9 G, e) ?1 F3 S , X, q2 B7 o; C/ ]In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.(他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说:Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually) # K! O; ~8 \7 g. p6 U: k 2 w) y k1 I7 T/ f0 d9 h2 yShe shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说:She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚,因为 show a preference for = prefer) , R, n5 h2 z0 L) S0 c: m2 v4 k- X& c- ~- M- W
I will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生)# P5 @5 `% r( M# m
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如果只说:I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗?因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面:「about the matter」可以省去); 同理,也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如: 0 L! k. |# z" |6 E. q* U ' V1 X0 ~5 M$ g& yThe consensus(of opinion)is that we have to act right away.(大家认为我们必须立即行动)(of opinion 可以省去,因为 consensus 的意思,就是大家的意见。) c: e' M3 c! U. L W7 H/ U
5 s }7 E0 q# c3 X7 y8 a( FThe letter shows that the problem(continues to)remain unsolved.(他的信显示问题尚未解决)(continue to 是多余的字,因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为:The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.) 4 D8 }0 ^0 G9 {- u+ A1 J! K 5 M3 ~1 ^1 ^5 I( w& k/ @3 k2 u8 hHe has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.(他在演说里做出结论) (final 是多余的字,因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。) [1 ?% }' g; S1 x: o/ T0 v& d
7 j8 M' n! X7 ?' a, nHe has had many years of (actual) experience in business。(他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字,因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味) " O" R! t5 n8 t$ ?! p1 X/ b n, C9 Y" [; U( p; L) g) g" s/ GWe assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.(我们装好收音机的零件)(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思,所以 together 是多余的) ; Z: e% R. b1 v. U7 w6 h w8 Z }; v0 j
Enclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.(herewith 是多余的字,因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思)(即:附上会议报告,请查收)( a; E/ W' j" X7 E- s# q
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写到这里,想起一位深受美国人民爱戴,一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young,他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时,他的回信只有三个字「我会到」(I'll be there)......。也有人打趣的说:「讲演或写作的句子,就像穿迷你裙,愈短愈好。」(Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.) $ j5 ] I: J+ B: \! Y + u4 C, S4 O7 e3 e* J6 n6 ?此外还有:in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。' M( N- O- f/ J/ q" b/ r4 ]
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( l9 }( D% e4 V- G" q! }5 ~3 `) o3.老外为了族群和谐相处,除不用歧视或偏见的字眼外,连男女性别,也要避免区别,以示「平等」。 + S# J" @6 |0 f' W " }: y/ m4 S: L$ V例如: j& B/ ?1 B) G0 F/ b
% V A4 B" o0 _& V8 n4 s6 D) N# QMankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。(人类是世上最聪明的动物)= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为:Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings) (注意:mankind 后面动词要用多数,而 man 的后面动词,则用单数)6 k2 p: a$ N9 c: R* B% |7 R! d3 V5 N
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Manpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济,似乎缺乏人力资源。)(如果说:Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources) 2 m; @( [ H) m- a * u- q5 n. g2 {" L0 C# j8 k: J7 DThis small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.(这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工)(如果说:This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了) ( s8 e6 E! i& W( p7 ~" D- S 4 t5 w4 a) n8 U' k- THe (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair,就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人,也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。) R( E; b6 ^0 Q, H
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Many businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.(许多商人觉得工作压力很大)(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了)(凡是单数 man 或 woman,其多数都是 men 或 women。)) D( m, g# P- g6 [+ R: f% D
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Policemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.(警察对人民应该有礼貌)(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别)( h3 L& |0 _- [0 ~: J7 [ D* q
: z" t$ k- @. x+ l- b' f/ dCongressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. (国会议员应该为其选民说话)(constitute = voter) (我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives) ; c$ c9 D7 a+ G. t' v ! S8 }* V6 @7 T. F- a+ JStewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.(国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象)(如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant,就能包括男女空中服务员。) 7 m& Y5 D1 x2 g8 s$ a" N 7 ^3 T# ]* ~# |( L. G, @同理,我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson;把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker;把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。' R+ s( Q- r/ N& A1 y
$ j' P; v. f0 Q7 |7 ^当然,一些带有种族偏见的字眼,甚至有侮辱的味道(insulting words 或 slur),也要尽量避免使用,以免闹出麻烦。例如:4 l3 P8 S" \* {# n( }2 q8 t5 J
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对黑人不要用 Negro,更不能用 Nigger(用 Black 还可以),礼貌的说法是 Afro-American 或 African-American; 4 F* a0 z0 N- x7 ]: _( V3 c. N m# ?+ }9 D8 @6 H0 v. Y
对白人不要用 Honky(这是黑人骂白人的用字),正确用法是 Caucasian,或 white people;: Q% E7 v( g: k- k" }" c
* [2 v- ^4 J$ R9 ?6 T; w1 p有偏见的老外,不叫华人为 Chinese,而叫 Chink 或 Chinaman(从前还叫「Yellow Peril」,即黄祸)。遇到这种事,怎么办呢?我建议:「君子不与小人斗」,最好是「不理」(ignore)或「走开」(walk away)。不过老外与你谈话时,如果使用这些不礼貌的字眼,那么你就可以说:「For your information,the word you just used is derogatory(或 inappropriate)to describe someone of my race.」(只想让你知道:你刚刚所用的字,来描写我的族群,是很不合适的)。: V* x$ m( e" j) Y+ w/ x$ |