本帖最后由 finder 于 2014-12-28 00:10 编辑 # G5 ?' r) t7 j& {3 ?6 X / s6 s( @) l) o3 C3 G# c" T" A5 h/ b- Y转帖1 w9 k. v1 o$ G) w0 V3 y6 D' i& V
1. 尤其在商业上，报章杂志或公文书信上，尽量不用难字 (big word) 或过时的字眼 (old-fashioned word) 0 H. O: k; h9 J8 b1 I3 L; i8 t n4 s
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Many people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白) # Z8 [5 t7 B; f1 O% r8 `! C6 W % x$ N3 n# Z% G( c+ D2 R" zThree hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university，s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter，会更简单易懂。) 7 e+ F& t0 B& S- x8 T 4 W' G7 W' X8 U% W+ oThis news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated，不更简单？) (动词时态是：spread, spread, spread) / ], A, R" \1 d' P7 A4 V: Z& Y3 ]+ U. s4 `' ^
The president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive，不更明白吗？) * W! e. r3 F4 t9 y! e) ]3 x, } `& w( }) ?9 f% P
I have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate，也许更明白。) 5 y" z* {+ ]8 r2 k! [9 V # v' _% W. A O/ b/ M, a; hMr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor，会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor)2 r6 s, _) w$ {, i. S1 S% g
/ X. a$ J C4 \ k g/ N& B# EWe hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)（如果用see代替visualize，也许更简单！）& v8 Z2 b4 ^$ D, F- ~8 i
- X9 d! v( ^' Z. U; PThe charitable organization solicits for our annual donation. (慈善机构要求我们一年一度乐捐)（假如用 ask 代替 solicit，更浅白易懂。）(solicitation是名词) 8 \2 P6 I b4 p) Z! Y7 L( p8 F
We don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后，我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire，也许更明白。) : e& J: b8 u. Z! [3 Y 1 m6 d1 x( o$ P5 w9 EPlease act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事，请尽速办理。）(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白？） q. } f: E) |9 O* k9 x: m 9 D& ~ s; j7 Y1 z- X这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过：「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字，我绝不用『metropolis』这个字，因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人，在一篇讲词里用了这么一句：「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字，卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成：「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白！ " J" n: b# W* k0 b+ ]3 l# p" o& l9 c1 B
6 D3 s. `5 l: ?, c0 L7 _8 ^2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼（flowery or wordy），句子应该越短越好，一句能用两个字，绝不多加一个。9 Y0 x1 b9 a F. v) k1 s
7 e" w& l% W4 R1 _At this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致）(如果说：Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now)( `& S8 q( c1 U7 j
' y5 u7 r1 `+ y" |" e) EDespite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. （虽然我的英语不好，但我不灰心。) (如果说：Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though） & I/ M5 v/ B1 S! @; Q1 j1 T 6 l' z) g, O7 o- ZI am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说：I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗？因为I am of the opinion = I think) " U( _2 M- `! |5 X% s: U, y ' G& Z3 ^+ b) G& _ BHe quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说：He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because） 2 x- L5 {0 @* A. D- P1 h8 S/ F, h. @' U; t
In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.（他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说：Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually）7 e' W) _* B4 @: j# h$ Z0 @- a
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She shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说：She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚，因为 show a preference for = prefer) % z* m0 ^" F" a% B6 K - K. k) A* l4 Z; e$ c3 EI will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生)' I. z( v- u5 r: u) j3 Z
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如果只说：I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗？因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面：「about the matter」可以省去); 同理，也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如： $ O3 o7 W( m q7 {* I" o4 h, W/ B: r" B# h0 S3 x, W; O
The consensus（of opinion）is that we have to act right away.（大家认为我们必须立即行动）(of opinion 可以省去，因为 consensus 的意思，就是大家的意见。）) U. e* N2 L% s; Z, w5 J' f4 i: J1 @
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The letter shows that the problem（continues to）remain unsolved.（他的信显示问题尚未解决）(continue to 是多余的字，因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为：The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.） 9 D `: r* ~7 Y8 x 6 {; j1 _* k/ a: }He has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.（他在演说里做出结论） (final 是多余的字，因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。）) N: m; N! E& d0 H) F9 K! L1 J
3 b; H: C$ E4 \( o$ y1 C7 vHe has had many years of (actual) experience in business。（他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字，因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味）0 ]! |1 U$ e+ b
- k; J+ A0 q5 S9 O2 PWe assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.（我们装好收音机的零件）(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思，所以 together 是多余的） N) y3 S0 B P; Z, f4 j) k
( M/ Z/ i- Z }3 H7 NEnclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.（herewith 是多余的字，因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思）(即：附上会议报告，请查收) % g9 N/ I% x+ h; d4 u( B1 f K% W8 z2 e. q0 H- {
写到这里，想起一位深受美国人民爱戴，一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young，他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时，他的回信只有三个字「我会到」（I'll be there）......。也有人打趣的说：「讲演或写作的句子，就像穿迷你裙，愈短愈好。」（Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.） $ \% V9 B: A- E- b) ^! r2 I q7 D K ' r0 r) u; b8 y! Z+ }此外还有：in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。 * N$ i7 k7 G" C6 J: H) ?- n" P% }: s- o$ X
* Y0 A; H+ H, U) ?) B+ F& ]3.老外为了族群和谐相处，除不用歧视或偏见的字眼外，连男女性别，也要避免区别，以示「平等」。+ s S; L3 R2 ]$ a* R
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Mankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。（人类是世上最聪明的动物）= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为：Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings） (注意：mankind 后面动词要用多数，而 man 的后面动词，则用单数）8 p0 i" Q0 c2 q% Y6 @2 q
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Manpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济，似乎缺乏人力资源。）(如果说：Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources）0 t; ?4 ^) Z/ I
6 g# o9 ?! p J7 ~ XThis small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.（这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工）(如果说：This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了） : _$ ]9 F4 ?! [7 g; _2 `1 g) M. Z! @4 c
He (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair，就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人，也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。)% P+ X/ P6 N L# z: @9 b
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Many businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.（许多商人觉得工作压力很大）(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了）(凡是单数 man 或 woman，其多数都是 men 或 women。) 8 O/ @! ^, v& T& Y! O: G$ b6 d6 ~3 X# l6 L* G0 F& s
Policemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.（警察对人民应该有礼貌）(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别） / B3 a- B. y, r0 V" Z' L) e/ r/ _2 B- _
Congressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. （国会议员应该为其选民说话）(constitute = voter) （我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives）" t/ p8 i( F% m1 ]; {+ S/ m
' Z$ b6 a( Q: N3 z5 ~Stewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.（国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象）（如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant，就能包括男女空中服务员。）7 B+ G5 C! K% |
$ t) z; v5 D( ?/ t2 S) @! u) A) \同理，我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson；把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker；把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。, }# z/ d! Q* Y5 |* l
发表于 2014-1-8 22:50:21
