+ R3 L' x. k; Y' L例如: ; c4 z1 |. x, }; y1 f- {& F. E" ^; i
Many people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白)- M. ~6 N3 M( y; i
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Three hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university,s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter,会更简单易懂。) ' \* L4 ^" {9 @1 t, b 3 R- v" b& T% Q9 Q* |4 t& kThis news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated,不更简单?) (动词时态是:spread, spread, spread)6 y) F4 N4 f8 f& c0 t* T6 t
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The president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive,不更明白吗?) 9 Z: B* @, h3 t t: a$ x . x; O4 [* n5 {& Z" F- SI have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate,也许更明白。) ' r+ W& n2 G% s# N' l' p: p. X! N: S# B: I' w
Mr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor,会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor); F J B1 |& _* p+ T
: N0 S: n$ \$ fWe hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)(如果用see代替visualize,也许更简单!), Y8 r4 B! ?4 e7 n& B2 x8 ^3 F6 J
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The charitable organization solicits for our annual donation. (慈善机构要求我们一年一度乐捐)(假如用 ask 代替 solicit,更浅白易懂。)(solicitation是名词)! b7 Q' E4 R+ Y7 o
3 r# `! u2 b3 j2 RWe don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后,我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire,也许更明白。)* C; K4 Y$ F; X& j: {9 Y- _6 }, N
9 d8 V& |: O6 JPlease act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事,请尽速办理。)(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白?) 4 Y C$ z7 t( m+ k- u; C! j$ J! `+ O0 c6 B( @( ^
这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过:「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字,我绝不用『metropolis』这个字,因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人,在一篇讲词里用了这么一句:「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字,卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成:「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白!/ v" @* G0 E2 J* g6 {
" |; A. M) G5 T. T: z 0 d* p; X& \+ ]( C% N0 h! v1 b2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼(flowery or wordy),句子应该越短越好,一句能用两个字,绝不多加一个。. t2 j0 S$ m: {/ Q* I8 d
8 r- ?! }6 y1 e; n6 N* c8 c1 a例如: , R0 D& D* G6 k* P & c1 a; w; e% {+ }At this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致)(如果说:Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now) 3 W' W7 t1 ~ M! Z" Q1 l% @2 b$ u0 M+ p8 J) {3 Y
Despite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. (虽然我的英语不好,但我不灰心。) (如果说:Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though); {! _6 n& v7 W; ^
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I am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说:I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗?因为I am of the opinion = I think). @1 C( U# c9 w+ B
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He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说:He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because) ( u& D8 c+ C7 d3 s3 I2 e) L8 [. y. ?$ A b4 P
In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.(他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说:Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually) / r5 @, `' k* A$ S( R2 u; L+ } v4 l4 Y2 ~# o
She shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说:She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚,因为 show a preference for = prefer) / i0 M ]( S, N) j+ Q1 V 8 @2 |( F, k+ W6 N" NI will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生)7 i* r7 b! N) e2 R
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如果只说:I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗?因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面:「about the matter」可以省去); 同理,也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如:) I" s7 m3 Z3 d: S+ U
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The consensus(of opinion)is that we have to act right away.(大家认为我们必须立即行动)(of opinion 可以省去,因为 consensus 的意思,就是大家的意见。)+ w! }9 \! ~4 [3 I- [3 X
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The letter shows that the problem(continues to)remain unsolved.(他的信显示问题尚未解决)(continue to 是多余的字,因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为:The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.) 4 I6 g8 ~* C. S# E# ]" w s 4 y8 |2 r' V) p9 l% E. Z; _- zHe has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.(他在演说里做出结论) (final 是多余的字,因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。)! B- P3 _: y1 I% C( B3 c; ?+ k
3 p* W) A X% o# K# `1 m2 r1 LHe has had many years of (actual) experience in business。(他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字,因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味) & g, f& y" T2 @' I; P, [ / e2 Z- y! s7 `9 e8 z! Q7 D" iWe assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.(我们装好收音机的零件)(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思,所以 together 是多余的) 6 O) b: @1 ]0 H# A0 @ - [7 W% f: N3 X5 z4 w2 C. s6 PEnclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.(herewith 是多余的字,因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思)(即:附上会议报告,请查收) # \( a0 D3 C! A+ C0 Y" j( M1 J8 P: |( \/ [% S0 H" {
写到这里,想起一位深受美国人民爱戴,一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young,他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时,他的回信只有三个字「我会到」(I'll be there)......。也有人打趣的说:「讲演或写作的句子,就像穿迷你裙,愈短愈好。」(Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.)- z/ l# ^9 N& x+ Z$ N
4 |+ _) _7 d8 w( S7 Z) D3 f此外还有:in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。+ x' ^1 U: i$ @/ G
6 `2 y, y8 y* i. H. k: E & \+ M: Y' z. N: n3.老外为了族群和谐相处,除不用歧视或偏见的字眼外,连男女性别,也要避免区别,以示「平等」。7 w% x% x; T3 Y7 e/ j; J, L
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: { _$ W' U3 x, a7 t+ Q7 H/ m' k% AMankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。(人类是世上最聪明的动物)= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为:Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings) (注意:mankind 后面动词要用多数,而 man 的后面动词,则用单数) 4 O/ r5 T9 h4 {% C6 g 0 O' H! C: b6 ^" o# p- EManpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济,似乎缺乏人力资源。)(如果说:Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources) . ~1 X$ t& I7 {/ [) j+ K; J) Q* F6 N" v: ]4 [4 @2 M( |& l
This small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.(这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工)(如果说:This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了)+ G# \, J* S) u$ B( a* i# K5 ^3 o
; k+ o" K7 T, ~" R* f a3 WHe (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair,就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人,也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。)* W8 g1 S: N; q9 v
- T0 E" h' _$ x6 I- J% |6 rMany businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.(许多商人觉得工作压力很大)(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了)(凡是单数 man 或 woman,其多数都是 men 或 women。) + ~) s* }8 U$ f- {, Y, v# _" Z+ E; z+ p. T6 `$ J
Policemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.(警察对人民应该有礼貌)(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别)+ j" a5 x- d0 Y, S x- L" g
+ J# Q$ ]6 c6 J0 WCongressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. (国会议员应该为其选民说话)(constitute = voter) (我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives)0 \, p8 \' `! D& ]
7 ?! Y9 ?+ `' p. ~" K& I! _3 g& AStewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.(国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象)(如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant,就能包括男女空中服务员。) * U6 N1 e! y* q* o! J4 _) s : Q1 ^+ T' N& i) ~同理,我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson;把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker;把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。4 C" B) P% P2 q7 K: [
) y' c" G) j$ K当然,一些带有种族偏见的字眼,甚至有侮辱的味道(insulting words 或 slur),也要尽量避免使用,以免闹出麻烦。例如: ' m4 k0 P ^% ?. n3 D % I0 l4 Y5 f% w1 h! F对黑人不要用 Negro,更不能用 Nigger(用 Black 还可以),礼貌的说法是 Afro-American 或 African-American;3 t1 z: i3 n6 I) e
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对白人不要用 Honky(这是黑人骂白人的用字),正确用法是 Caucasian,或 white people;, t" k3 q4 F7 ?! k4 G0 ~2 m
# r F1 a- G1 i: L+ V1 u对犹太人不要用 Hymies,应该叫 Jewish 或 Jewish people;( ?$ e9 k# y/ e& l