& N" |/ h7 d, @: ^& Q- n例如： 6 s/ a; c# l0 y1 v- t . N# L1 n7 S5 m/ I- ]8 s$ @Many people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白)7 S7 I* h! @0 l# [ h( J& `
3 g. W' S0 Z. X. NThree hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university，s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter，会更简单易懂。) 2 u4 P1 S" h: h: C3 {+ L; b4 D ' z# U4 e0 {1 d5 aThis news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated，不更简单？) (动词时态是：spread, spread, spread)0 z# w7 A0 u5 H$ O: r @
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The president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive，不更明白吗？) 2 x& X, {- ]2 E) f6 H3 P* W, m# ^, D8 I( m0 q
I have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate，也许更明白。) # Q7 s1 q, [0 S' }: _ + c+ P% V' @+ O) v3 rMr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor，会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor) 9 ^/ z, v: e C' { A1 |% L% ?2 N5 K9 P4 v
We hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)（如果用see代替visualize，也许更简单！）$ \$ j' p! |- E5 v# o( k
$ O( L+ {5 I- z8 jThe charitable organization solicits for our annual donation. (慈善机构要求我们一年一度乐捐)（假如用 ask 代替 solicit，更浅白易懂。）(solicitation是名词)$ U: f, A: X a. u' x
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We don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后，我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire，也许更明白。)+ ?0 d1 G# g/ n0 ?; ?0 ?% [
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Please act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事，请尽速办理。）(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白？）5 |0 ~0 S: k0 s0 u1 }
) t. _+ ?, Z6 E, c. V这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过：「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字，我绝不用『metropolis』这个字，因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人，在一篇讲词里用了这么一句：「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字，卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成：「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白！ 2 G7 _8 B' F% X( a( ~! m0 s' l. P) `$ Q7 I
0 @/ R# e) p* }2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼（flowery or wordy），句子应该越短越好，一句能用两个字，绝不多加一个。. l% a2 J0 U3 U1 P/ a
5 l/ ]' ]/ j& Z' P* x& h例如：6 E( i) A* Q- m% B- F/ ?' w
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At this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致）(如果说：Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now) . h5 a, z3 p5 A# F9 d/ D" d- S- d( }+ r8 m
Despite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. （虽然我的英语不好，但我不灰心。) (如果说：Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though） ! \) d) M# v# f) N. T " p1 U, g5 g! k( v4 m7 EI am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说：I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗？因为I am of the opinion = I think) # T; S2 z: D7 D" e# m6 D+ G. R X% }) T% c' w
He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说：He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because） , Z8 `9 P, O9 a, }$ ~% o+ T! v5 ?$ E- G, h# m3 X: W5 I
In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.（他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说：Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually） 0 `. n' `( v3 R% t' ~ 4 d. \: q& o! i5 EShe shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说：She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚，因为 show a preference for = prefer)* _8 U8 Y. T9 F, E9 [, v J
. g5 E6 V+ f$ f. S9 B; f- |2 d2 i% ZI will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生) Y; u1 j( _$ `& ]! k
" [+ M' f5 l3 D- Y1 h& V如果只说：I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗？因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面：「about the matter」可以省去); 同理，也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如： & k& S- C" h& o* E( f& _8 d; A: f2 Q4 W4 L( M: D
The consensus（of opinion）is that we have to act right away.（大家认为我们必须立即行动）(of opinion 可以省去，因为 consensus 的意思，就是大家的意见。）: H" E( }2 `0 H0 x
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The letter shows that the problem（continues to）remain unsolved.（他的信显示问题尚未解决）(continue to 是多余的字，因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为：The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.）, o+ K3 Y9 `+ [ N0 h$ O) ]
0 _$ p: C+ Q8 x; \& U7 xHe has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.（他在演说里做出结论） (final 是多余的字，因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。） . X. b$ b0 Z4 {, z) O( T5 u2 w' p9 X) K* P/ i9 c- y0 R
He has had many years of (actual) experience in business。（他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字，因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味）9 O6 ~( C3 P( h0 k' G0 h
9 P0 z+ I- l3 d, |We assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.（我们装好收音机的零件）(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思，所以 together 是多余的） 9 e; P8 i* h% [, J) Q4 A1 l9 `9 n1 T" [: Q
Enclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.（herewith 是多余的字，因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思）(即：附上会议报告，请查收) 8 K/ V4 `' p& M& U ; a+ c' y7 ^! l: D3 O" i0 }# i写到这里，想起一位深受美国人民爱戴，一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young，他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时，他的回信只有三个字「我会到」（I'll be there）......。也有人打趣的说：「讲演或写作的句子，就像穿迷你裙，愈短愈好。」（Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.） ; j! c" e6 H& B9 t9 r, X; \- h c0 Y9 n
此外还有：in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。7 b5 S$ W b, v0 e
( i: @& N$ }% [6 B7 n# n) l- \0 A7 L6 C1 E/ C 3.老外为了族群和谐相处，除不用歧视或偏见的字眼外，连男女性别，也要避免区别，以示「平等」。 5 q0 Z) q s+ v; Y0 W# ?) E; _3 S2 J( O) N. c! L. O8 N" X
例如： , t; F& o, w8 k6 l+ p" z( ?6 Z0 ]# g, }; X3 H+ b) I' e, c6 P
Mankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。（人类是世上最聪明的动物）= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为：Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings） (注意：mankind 后面动词要用多数，而 man 的后面动词，则用单数）. H+ ~1 Q6 c( m0 Q
. B: Q* l$ e7 }Manpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济，似乎缺乏人力资源。）(如果说：Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources） - y$ R" S. k: q" b( R+ y! i , O; I$ M' P8 p: RThis small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.（这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工）(如果说：This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了） ' t% V( y) V5 o# v: K t4 O, t% x/ I7 ^+ ?9 h) \
He (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair，就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人，也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。) : r; O/ V! ~- ^2 l# p- C3 p. b4 c/ ?8 _% A) x0 b
Many businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.（许多商人觉得工作压力很大）(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了）(凡是单数 man 或 woman，其多数都是 men 或 women。) 2 g6 u/ `- f' F, m _8 r# J% ~
Policemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.（警察对人民应该有礼貌）(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别） 3 d$ N4 m+ ?7 Y3 b 3 o/ l% X9 Y( x2 r0 W4 RCongressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. （国会议员应该为其选民说话）(constitute = voter) （我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives）4 T6 A V% a, A+ b9 ]
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Stewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.（国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象）（如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant，就能包括男女空中服务员。）* _8 d1 P& @# |3 i# A
$ h3 h9 {! T9 p+ F m+ M有偏见的老外，不叫华人为 Chinese，而叫 Chink 或 Chinaman（从前还叫「Yellow Peril」，即黄祸）。遇到这种事，怎么办呢？我建议：「君子不与小人斗」，最好是「不理」（ignore）或「走开」（walk away）。不过老外与你谈话时，如果使用这些不礼貌的字眼，那么你就可以说：「For your information,the word you just used is derogatory（或 inappropriate）to describe someone of my race.」（只想让你知道：你刚刚所用的字，来描写我的族群，是很不合适的）。% c3 Q) X' B) {% g$ \
发表于 2014-1-8 22:50:21
