# _8 ?, M5 @& c) O; t6 GMany people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白) O" N( W; n/ V m
1 }; X5 ?; J7 \* I2 \Three hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university,s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter,会更简单易懂。) 4 ]5 w6 Z: d9 ~* V9 ] 5 f' [5 g' n0 \This news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated,不更简单?) (动词时态是:spread, spread, spread) . X( y) x6 Z+ G% g4 {3 R: ? " a: q9 C9 S3 M A" W8 E6 u$ NThe president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive,不更明白吗?) 3 x# |0 i# D2 ?& b$ O: E, T) X. D$ | $ C) {9 q8 |, m3 {. XI have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate,也许更明白。)# \1 f3 e7 g1 s/ e4 S6 F
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Mr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor,会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor) 7 S7 X" e8 `# w, K" u2 a D 7 `/ w; Q4 c* M, C( p( ]7 v. }We hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)(如果用see代替visualize,也许更简单!)% |5 N4 f3 M5 F) s9 }
( w1 L* g, s5 k6 ~# I, E; dWe don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后,我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire,也许更明白。) 6 u* g1 v* i3 W& J$ {- t! {! o4 c# k2 D" @+ d! H" W
Please act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事,请尽速办理。)(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白?) $ u) q6 o; j+ Y/ [: P ' v# C% \% J6 U9 K这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过:「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字,我绝不用『metropolis』这个字,因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人,在一篇讲词里用了这么一句:「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字,卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成:「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白!/ X, |1 B m( p! R) ]( Z! |
7 j% j+ ~+ [) t: a0 X5 a# y) d/ Q& ~1 }3 @9 a3 n; Y3 t! f 2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼(flowery or wordy),句子应该越短越好,一句能用两个字,绝不多加一个。7 t) z' Q" ?* {# Y
6 t6 \, ]1 B5 h例如: / m" L" c4 o$ g6 \% B7 Y! A" @, F/ m# x, E3 b$ j" t
At this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致)(如果说:Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now): ^& g, |' x6 i2 b5 T
" d& ~; l2 e. I) i6 [Despite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. (虽然我的英语不好,但我不灰心。) (如果说:Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though) % f( \7 C; ^: U# l$ r * d* d, h; |# g" B# u# lI am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说:I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗?因为I am of the opinion = I think)7 ~7 g# Q4 \* {! D# F3 m- k1 t
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He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说:He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because) 0 F; h* g# v: i- J7 e# |7 ]3 r+ B; U" o0 k- f7 H; Z
In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.(他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说:Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually) 2 x4 S( {, ?3 s 5 V/ m) U( S" C+ M. ^& mShe shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说:She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚,因为 show a preference for = prefer)$ ^# Y$ M5 e8 `! Y
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I will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生)( }+ ~; X- N: r' d" g; o
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如果只说:I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗?因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面:「about the matter」可以省去); 同理,也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如: 0 V3 X) o* }- [& n5 [2 J0 E9 Y6 Z5 |+ v1 k& v* b
The consensus(of opinion)is that we have to act right away.(大家认为我们必须立即行动)(of opinion 可以省去,因为 consensus 的意思,就是大家的意见。) 0 u2 h; y8 t2 t % K/ W* u- _# x# B" j% a$ \1 U9 U: W3 k- DThe letter shows that the problem(continues to)remain unsolved.(他的信显示问题尚未解决)(continue to 是多余的字,因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为:The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.)* d& c" }+ ]( S) h0 W ?# n
$ }0 L6 v( R+ f- zHe has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.(他在演说里做出结论) (final 是多余的字,因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。)$ j& ]9 f! U5 q8 v! e# |
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He has had many years of (actual) experience in business。(他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字,因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味): K) f0 X y5 ~. _
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We assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.(我们装好收音机的零件)(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思,所以 together 是多余的)% `$ ]8 f, ^% E6 T8 [$ S
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Enclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.(herewith 是多余的字,因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思)(即:附上会议报告,请查收) ( F9 f8 A9 v4 Y4 D, R# n6 E# W8 I/ I2 w, m2 U! Z
写到这里,想起一位深受美国人民爱戴,一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young,他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时,他的回信只有三个字「我会到」(I'll be there)......。也有人打趣的说:「讲演或写作的句子,就像穿迷你裙,愈短愈好。」(Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.)$ O6 g) c! z. f6 {
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此外还有:in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。 ' z" L% e0 g; |) @. ~! o& t0 ?' j9 b) k( U0 T a$ X
; n" u# n: }- o7 J; H 3.老外为了族群和谐相处,除不用歧视或偏见的字眼外,连男女性别,也要避免区别,以示「平等」。( u+ ^: p- i# ]7 j* t
7 ^, M3 t9 u! X$ a Q例如:7 |: o: e' b: K4 {7 H8 B6 V
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Mankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。(人类是世上最聪明的动物)= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为:Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings) (注意:mankind 后面动词要用多数,而 man 的后面动词,则用单数)- n* B7 m, h) q) N
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Manpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济,似乎缺乏人力资源。)(如果说:Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources) , h4 Y( d% e$ M/ A! N; b& [& Z' V) \/ A9 Q$ Z+ M- ^. d- v( R B
This small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.(这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工)(如果说:This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了): J% a1 m& s8 B4 \, S9 Y6 o
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He (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair,就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人,也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。) 8 f9 _8 V# w! {( U; n* v$ S7 b7 p2 y$ s- ~
Many businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.(许多商人觉得工作压力很大)(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了)(凡是单数 man 或 woman,其多数都是 men 或 women。)7 G% |# W a% N1 c" z, r
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Policemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.(警察对人民应该有礼貌)(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别) 3 [- f7 y5 f% u( o9 L( w+ V % v) j% o0 X. q+ G# hCongressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. (国会议员应该为其选民说话)(constitute = voter) (我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives) 5 J N8 V8 I0 w3 @' v5 J* i2 [& e 4 v s' ] f. f4 A+ x" m aStewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.(国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象)(如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant,就能包括男女空中服务员。) 4 Z/ e* L7 m2 p 9 R8 Z; c! y. O" y8 M4 w: s同理,我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson;把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker;把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。8 W8 W% ^% f1 L